


Dealing with the Pain

by Poppets



Series: Pain [2]
Category: Roswell (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drama, F/M, Future Fic, Hate Sex, POV First Person, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2014-11-01
Packaged: 2018-02-23 11:57:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2546636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Poppets/pseuds/Poppets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liz explains why…</p><p>I guess you could say it follows on from 'Pain'. It's in the same 'world'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dealing with the Pain

Sometimes I can deal with it. Sometimes it doesn't hurt quite as much. I've seen friends die, I've given up my life and my family, I've given up my dreams, but I'm still alive. I'm still existing day-to-day.

But most of the time it hurts. It's a physical pain that won't go away, nothing will banish it, not sleep, not alcohol, not drugs.

The mornings are always the worst. I wake up and it's all still here. It wasn't all a dream. It's my life and I have to live it, I can't just walk away.

There is only one thing that will banish the pain, if only for a few brief seconds: sex. I don't want sweet, loving sex. That existed in the dreams of a child.

Who would have thought that Liz Parker would ever say something like that? A few years ago, even I wouldn't have believed I could say that. But I'm different now, changed.

You know, I don't like Michael, I've never liked Michael and I don't think I ever will. And he never made a secret of his hatred of me. He hated and resented my relationship with Max. He hated the fact that I knew what he was, and that his life was in my hands. Most of all he hated the fact that I was alive, that I didn't die in the Crashdown that day.

But that doesn't stop us from coming together. In fact that's probably the reason we do. We can pour every ounce of hatred, and anger we want into the sex and not worry about hurting the person we're with. It's hard and rough and it hurts, but neither of us care. We strive for the small amount of pleasure that comes from our joining. Those few brief seconds when we don't exist, when the world around us doesn't exist and we can forget.

That's all I want, just those few brief moments…

End.


End file.
